lift off

the shower’s a warm blanket
but the cold lives in my spine
if only i could see
then i wouldn’t be so blind

tell me i’m not fine
tell me not to cry

the president’s a virus
and my family is the host
they pull all of their pants down
to get lashed by the holy ghost

castigate my mind
tell me that i lie

my father is a rapist
and my mother cries all day
the sun dances in the window
but has nothing much to say

i’m starting to unwind
i’ve nothing but the time

let up
lift off

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old songs

my life in memory

is beautiful and eternal

it includes

dramatic retellings

and for moments in real-time

i can spend years in the past

and all the people

whom i’ve torn apart

are there in whole

we never waste time to catch up

and we just pretend like nothing

ever changed.

Poem 333

wake up
don’t you know you’re already dead
those dreams have nowhere to go
tall wild grass hang over your head
for all the things you never went for
and all those lovers on the backseat
grew in the world you left behind
no matter
everything you loved
everything you were meant to be
are on the balance
weighing out each other

It’s true you poorly chose yourself
life didn’t seem real enough
to fear or avoid darkness
lurking in the corner of your eye
but out there love is finite
out there everyone goes their way
slowly drinking the bitter cup
to the last drop they go
is it how they know they’re alive?

A door is closing
on the song that never got to
escape your shy lips
and all the thoughts you never gave life to
loom over you like a delinquent debt
no matter
here everybody loves you
here everybody understands
that loneliness and pain are unique
to each and everyone
here everybody has something to atone for
and eternity to rage and reconcile
suffering and God

There is no right thing to do
but to let go
of regrets and dread
no longer at the mercy
of the past
you will ride the high tide till
the shore of goodness and love
and there, there …
who knows…
a voice like a mother
singing good old David’s psalm?
warm, hopeful, vibrant
before disillusionment and
sadness-

Restored
young again,
you will sing
and realize how wrong it can be
to sing David’s psalm like a sad song
Who knows…
over there, oh there…
a happy song
only the Lord Knows
to ease and revive,
all the sad unhappy songs

Wake up
don’t you know you’re already dead ?
somebody else would have realized by now
wake up and sing your song

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever. “

a couple more days (to the tune of plastic birds)

i shouldn’t expect you to be like me
my pretty plastic bird
and when i took you to the fare
you said that life’s not fair

when i go home at night
and i think about it
i know i only want the truth
and that’s all i want from you

and when i realize
looking into your eyes
that they are plastic beads
i wish that you could see

i guess that i’m a mess
and i get left like that
cuz you can’t tell
i wish you’d go to hell

i lose my appetite
i’d rather be lonely
cuz it’s not fucking cool
being such a fool.

this is a long drive

ohio,
dramamine,
this is a long drive
for someone with
nothing
to think about

i might
show the custom concern
and head south
into the tundra/
desert
because she
ionizes
and
atomizes
while i’m
talking shit
about a pretty sunset

and we go down to
her beachside property,
dog paddle,
and it’s all about
making everyone happy/
mechanical birds
so she goes to sleep
while i’m at the lounge
where
space travel is boring…
wait, breakthrough,
exit does not exist.

the song your band never sang

and breathe
life is not about

(please pause for the bass interlude)

what you think it is
because no one cares
for your 40 inch

(please pause for the guitar solo)

tv
because everyone knows
its not about the size
but rather about

(please pause as the drummer does his thing)

how well it drives in
your new car but its not about that

breathe

(silence as the words go on but the music stops)

life is not about
all the things you never handles well or all the things you wear and hear and
who you knew and what you wanted out of it
because you know its just not like you thought it was

(crescendo and pause as you scream)

just something more