my friend john always looks at the ground
he’s THE BEST at it and I LOVE HIM so
whenever people come ’round there go his eyes
right past his feet

my friend john watches daytime tv
EXCEPT FOR THAT he’s pretty smart
and knows how to just look at the ground
and stay away from people’s eyes

my friend john is THE BEST around
and he talks about his strategies
and he talks and talks and talks
until his eyes then hit the ground

my friend john says he feels so large
knowing that he’s the best around
with billions of others, much worse
because I LOVE HIM so