tonight
i gathered with what are soon to be old friends
(i’m moving in 10 days you know) and we sang
and sang something like karaoke
for four hours till our voices grew horse
then settled for dinner.

“rabbits head”
we picked because hey.
what the hell are old friends for if not
a good rabbits head once in a while.

i suckled at the brain. it tasted like you’d think
(spongy, salty, spicy, awkwardly disgusting and not
just in principle) and i knew my vegetarian
friend there with us
would appreciate and remember this as our last
meal together

when i lived here.
ate this. sang that. played with you and wished you

farewell.

You leave me alone in your apartment, 
 I feel dented, swindled, and hanged up like the abstract painting on your wall.  
 I wrap your white bed sheet around my neck , it holds better than your words… when you pretend to see Me as larger than life; you’re so snug ego-boosting me, and like an ailing puppy I need you. 
I fidget from wall to wall wearing your leather shoes and your tshirt, big enough to get lost in and forget that I am who I hate the most… 

I’m afraid of mediocrity
To settle for what’s less
I give up on potential greatness
Instead of striving for the best
Thoughts weigh in me with unrest
Believing I should strive for better
Rather than just striving for this jest
To rise above, discover true success?
But with contempt I’m told
I shouldn’t make a mess
“Don’t be such a wrench in the works.”
And so, with a sigh, I digress

I feel as though I’m listing
I’m sure I must seem that way
out of sorts and all
paper hat on my head
nothing written on my hands
no company to remember me
but here I am, listing
and I’ll list my way back out to sea

a tree rustles
as sunlight and wind move through:
a wasp on my forearm.

all feeling left like falling rain
you’re in my bed i can’t complain
the thoughts in head i can’t explain
i want you here for me to drain
i want you here to cause some pain
and light the fire with the flame
you hand me dice to play a game
i’m bad at keeping myself trained
it is ingrained, i go insane
your car is still parked outside.

I disregard the sunlight on most occasions

I hope for my sake I am not a fool,
yet I persist to act foolish

These are not wounds,
simply unplugged outlets.

Let the children watch, so just maybe,
they can learn something.

I called up all my family
I called up all my friends to see
if all the little animals had
really taken off tonight
and much to my surprise, it seemed
that every cirtter inside three
square miels had grown wings
and taken flight

Well I’ve never been a betting man
and never made much money hoping
other people’s words were untrue
but I have made out to gamble some
and you can bet I’m probably done
‘cuz pigs were surely flying
after I made that bet with you

standing more on the pads of my feet
and leaning slightly backwards to improve
my posture as i complete my sweaty run
all but barefoot and walk back into my
house feeling bigger than samson richer
than jobs and sexier than, well, my normal me
today i press the wife.

“what woulds’t thou have me to conquer?”

for i’m empowered right now to take on the
world. but your coffee? you want it ground?

conquered.

I feel so under
qualified some
times when I con
sider all the lit
tle things comp
letely wrong wi
th everything but
I must rimain st
alwart at preten
ding that I’m just
as qualified as
the next ave
rage joe who cer
tainly will weigh
their two cents in
as deep as it
will rest, and it
will rest, so rest
assured you’re
not the only one
protecting this old
wishing well. Just
try not to let
your back be
turned too of
ten

I can not tell
weather the man in the stained wife beater
and the 25 dollar sunglasses is
reading the plaque at the bottom of that fountain
or considering his entire existence at
7:45 on a Friday night in the small-business
district of a little big city’s downtown.

Perhaps he wonders where he’ll be in ten years,
when the retro furniture boutique and the
mid-city semi-exclusive jazz club will most likely be gone,

Or maybe he ponders where the time went,
he with two kids and a regular job doing
odd sorts of labor for a landscaping outfit.

He could even be counting down the days
before he finally catches up on back child support
and can relish in the full-sized checks he’s
been denied for so long.

Or,
he’s wondering what comes after
‘Dedicated in memory…’
on the worn-down part
of the fountain base

…I’m certainly not going to ask him.

Let my snotty rags left everywhere
(even in mid-summer) stand
as sufficient retribution against the
OBnoXious taptaptapping
your knee makes as it hits the bottom
of your work desk.

Let it go without saying, and perfectly
understood, that you
won’t tell me to pick them up,
and I won’t cut your leg off
at the fucking thigh

in patiently awaiting my new home i’ve discovered something like yoga. i call it misery.
take three and call me in a few weeks. if that doesn’t work. take more. overdosing leads to extreme misery, and then small amounts of joy followed by a positive life change.
it’s hard to plead the grass is greener
when there is no grass.
but then again… on the other side….