but where you were born
determines your ability to play
in some three letter acronym at the national
scale
be it nhl, nfl, nba, or whoever

but say you’re born in samoa?
you’re probably great at just one

maybe your grandparents are from africa?
you’ll fit in any at all.

but before you say i’m racist
let me tell that you i aint white
i’m as minority as the day is long
in the country full of yella’s

It was at a
restaurant
some other friends
were with me
when you called
and I remember every
little thing you said
and shit, it’s tough
when I look back
and wonder just
how much you really
spewed your bullshit.

I have not found
the bottom of that barrel,
and I’m confident
I never really will.

coming to earth in
human awkward form
running, walking, eating, sleeping
incarnate holiness
still you chose
to die painful death for me

stuck there, hung there nailed there,
till three days later
undeservedly, the breath fades from your lungs
carrying my sin with it
k

i sit staring at rearranged
pixels in a grid made by
god watching plays played
by ghosts
i make love to the marionettes
in my dreams and sometimes
in the wires
of the grid

(on simulated sunny days
in graveyards and in minivans)

remember all the times
you sat staring at mannequins
screaming “WHEN WILL YOU
TALK BACK?”???
so does half of
jcpenny
and the
crossroads mall
security
yet
i
digress.

Nobody really knows, but I’ll tell you
‘way to be’
when you slide one past the radar
and the folks all know just who you are
and every little
piece of your
(fragmented)
personalities are scattered
like plastic cups after a party
and they see you
yeah, they see you
and they know you
(they don’t know you)
but I’ll tell you
every time you think you snuck one right past me
yeah, I’ll tell you
every god damned time
I’ll tell you
‘way to be’

these birds from hateville
they know you
before they see you
but they are beautiful,
enough,
i guess,
and i’m at my wits end
filling this birdfeeder,
now that i think about it!
and why, may i ask,
am i so tongue tied?
you should’ve seen me,
all quiet in the forest
while the bees ate me alive.
ah, you should’ve seen me,
watching those stupid birds
while the bees ate me alive,
and i didn’t even scream.
those birds from
hateville,
the only birds around.

I hope the boys with trumpets
roll through Monday.

We’ll let ’em swing.
Yeah, that dixieland
that ol’ big band
we’ll let ’em swing.

The cymbals splish
splashing and the
bass just pounding
and I hope the boys with
trumpets come
‘cuz man, we’ll let ’em swing

wordlessness fills my mind
but it lacks the beauty
inherent in white
woven
acid-free
virgin
paper

Soon this all will end
and off I’ll go,
back to real life,
back to work,
no longer able
to sit with you
to watch you
laughcryeatsleepgrow
to be there,
with you,
when you need me.

:head down lost in thought
:the scent of winters passed embalmed in her scarf
:this morning’s kiss, a beacon, lingering on her lips
she steps softly across fresh snow
leaving pigeon-toed tracks melting in her wake.

i pasted letters of hatred
death threats on my wall

By the pocketful
by the absolute bucket
there is forward motion
via funnel and pump
and adding machine
there is forward motion
from the spinning wheels
and thrusting pistons
and jet engines on passenger ships
though the dirigible has long since
been abandoned
there is forward motion
leaving animals behind
leaving modest means askew
leaving fresh air as a
commodity
there is forward motion

Let’s take a few steps back.

overwhelmed with emotion
floored by beauty
i want to appreciate
the soft conclusion
of narrative thread
hold it in my hand
soak in the silence
drink the darkness
at curtain’s close

but

conversations intrude
lights come up

it’s over.

You smell just like you came home from a radio show
and you read just like the communist manifesto
Well I think I’m probably rather fond of you
and not just the thought

Well you feel like all the cold brick streets had softened up
and you sound like every songbird singing ‘ all shook up’
oh the theories runing through my head don’t compensate
for the bit I swear I didn’t think I thought

and night is day,
everything seems
just the same;
and sleep recedes;
and sleep returns;
and in the same moment
pain is found,
as is peace
and hope that someday,
hopefully soon,
we’ll be able to better commune,
and finally understand each other.

repetitious pounding of heel to cement
slowly (faithfully) produces delusions of grandeur
and
i run not for exercise but to flee
cognitive stagnation

then dreams flow in

you’re God not man and your power
not limited by my dreams
is by all means larger than i fathom
(should i choose to try…
when i choose to try)

so when i pray to tug your heart strings
to change
for transformation on the city/province/country
scale

i know my dreams too small
i beg for bigger
i run much harder
thinking

if i can numb the pain in these joints
over time
perhaps i may numb the walls i’ve built around you

a little more
one bigger dream at a time.

We can not fathom
what we do not know
of the things that we
dedicate our
entire
be
ing
to mastering.

And that truth
and that terror
is glorious.