On Hiding

There was a time when the world was new to me
When I was a blank page
fresh and full of possibilities
Stories and dreams brimming unhindered
An ink away from greatness
Before thoughts of fear and uncertainty
Crystallized and masqueraded as experience
A Preemptive tactic against failure
A delusion

So out of unease and unreadiness
I hid

I hid from the world, from family and friends
Most tragically, I hid from myself
I made myself smaller so others wouldn’t feel threatened
I retreated inwards
A crushed paper in a bin
I refused to shine
Perhaps for fear of being seen
Or perhaps,
For fear of being pinned down and quantified
For fear of finding out I didn’t add up to anything much
Or for fear of dissolving
akin to a drop of sugar in a cup of water
For fear of hearing others call me sweet or other gentle things
And having those things become the standard to live by

But by hiding,
By selling myself short,
I unknowingly
enhanced and inhabited my smallness
I denied myself the chance to soar
I dulled out my light and forgot how to be great
How to answer
the call of every human being to figure out and fulfill their life purpose
The need to be great, not greater than
The need to be all that you can be
To at least try
meet the world unabashedly
with all your talent, passion, and resolve
To wrestle with your limitations and
stay true

***

R.i.p A life truly un-lived
Coming Soon: A gung-ho resurrection

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