Higher on a shelf
going crazy
getting rotten
pulling on a thread
of a fragile woven world-
slowly coming apart
By my hands, i will make it shed
i will cover it in stains
the way it did me
watch it struggle 
gasp for air
when it cajoles, pleads or puts
on airs 
i will yield, bide my time
watch it grow, expand
radiate joy and hope 
and just as it made me something sadder
i will rob its light, enthusiastic energy
twist its beauty
turn its gifts into a curse
fill its days with doubts, worry,
fear and unbearable pain
days thick-sown with irrepressible will to live
enough to want to stick around:
suffer when suffering comes
-sadness for ever looming – 
breathe, cry or laugh
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