atop this hill
i see the city extinguish
slowly
light
by
light
it withdraws like a tide
waiting to explode
and overtake every last one of us
trading each breath
for death.
-
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the sieve and the sand 
reader poll: are the final two lines cheesy?
love the poem. last two lines, they’re pretty heavy. Is that what you want?
I’d say they’re a pretty solid pair, but in the same vein, “overtake every last one of us” is powerful by itself, too. Mmm, the tribulations of poetry.
i always worry about cheesiness also and find myself laughing uncontrollably at it. I didn’t laugh uncontrollably (or at all) at this, so by that infallible measuring method, I would say not cheesy.