philadelphia is an extra long and erratic drum
solo in a jazz set
with a stressed out show promoter in the corner
because it’s 45 minutes passed closing time
and everyone is angry

the band is angry, which is what the extra long
improvised solo is about
and the bar owner is angry because people are
still coming in
and the crowd is angry, looking for that catharsis
from the drum solo
and the bar tender is angry because he is still
serving drinks
and they are all looking for catharsis
catharsis as the drummer goes on

and eventually the owner of the bar
shows up and says
“everyone go home, everyone
fucking leave”
so the band winds down and the people
file out of the crowded space one by one
and the band is there even later, packing
up gear as the hanger’s on try and
talk about the set with the players

and the drummer eventually gets home
to his angry wife, who says
“Jim, it’s 4am, you can’t keep doing this
you’re going to lose your job!”
and she’s right, because he has to work tomorrow
and it’s going to be a long shift because he will
be so tired

and the drummer’s shift the next day is
really bad and the whole time he’s thinking
“i can’t play in that band anymore”
and when his boss remarks on his tired
demeanor he knows it won’t be long
until it becomes too much for him anymore
and after counting up the tips and calculating
for the drive and inflation and the time he decides
he’s not going to do it anymore

so the drummer leaves the band and
the jazz band can’t sustain it so they break up
and the drummer’s boss at work eventually says
“wow your work has really improved”
and so he decides he won’t have time for
the drums anymore

so the drummer sets out to sell the drum kit
and the pawn shop offers him a price that he
can’t stomach, so he goes online to list the
drum set
and gets asshole after asshole offering him
next to nothing for this vintage set
although it is well kept
and the deal he finally accepts
he wouldn’t tell any of his musician friends
even less-so the guy who sold him the kit
which was practically a favor
from another musician
and overall just a sad way to end the storied
history of the drummer’s jazz kit

both his wife and boss are pleased
with his performance after he sells the kit
and leaves the band
and the drummer feels good too

he is getting paid more and everyone
is happy except, well, we can’t call him the drummer anymore
so he’s just Jim now
and Jim goes along feeling well except for
a weird twitch in his right eye sometimes
and that some nights he can’t sleep because he is
worrying away about everything

so one day Jim goes to a doctor and the
doctor diagnosis him with high blood pressure
and depressive symptoms due to stress
and he prescribes some pills that make Jim feel
leveled out but not quite there
and they make the twitch worse, actually
but he doesn’t tell the doctor that part
and one night when he is up fretting
he hears a strange noise coming from the
basement

so he goes to check it out
and it gets louder and louder as he gets down the
stairs and like an insane acid trip he
is suddenly transported back to the bar
and there is a guy just wailing away
during an extra long and erratic drum solo
in a jazz set
and he thinks
“oh, this is so cathartic”
catharsis
he stays for the set and as the people start
to leave, he walks up to the stage and
strikes up a conversation with the drummer
as the drummer is packing up his gear

Jim says to the drummer
“hey man, great set”
and the drummer says
“cool, man, thanks for coming out”
and it’s kind of awkward
so Jim wanders away feeling dejected

tears creep up on him slowly
which can sometimes be the worst kind
so he starts to really let it all out
and before long he is loudly sobbing
like rolling waves of vomit out of his face
and Jim does not go back to his apartment
or his job
and they don’t really come looking for him
so he just sleeps downtown now

that’s what philadelphia is like