part 4 in a series inspired by Shia LeBeouf’s tweets
tell me you think i’m beautiful
even if it is a lie
and let us not shy away from
the utility in fucking
the rent is paid now for sure
but i still feel homeless
i know you too well now to even
have a firm idea of
well i mean the relativity of it all
is the only solid thing
i can’t stop looking at my
phone and computer
even heaven seems really boring
i don’t know what i’m waiting for
this sinking feeling that is bottomless
you can’t talk your way out of this one
4 thoughts on “I can’t stop looking at my phone and computer”
I don’t say that often
I think the poem got a bit lost between those lines
“have a firm idea of
well i mean the relativity of it all”
I really liked the first part.
But, hey, this is just me.
Sorry if it is out of my jurisdiction
No problem, I value your feedback and kind words.
I did make that part disjointed on purpose. Sorry you didn’t find that part as palatable.
Thank you for reading.
After rereading it a couple of times I have to say I agree that, even if I did mean for it to be disjointed, that I probably should have included some more descriptive language in the ending.
Unfortunately I don’t edit my poems but to fix grammatical and formatting errors. Just one of those things.
I need more focus in my work.
I, too, edit my work very rarely. Too rarely.
In any case, it might be very good and just what you wanted but when I read stuff I like I am more likely to want to point out what, if, isn’t working for me.
Thank you for your replies and for taking it in a good spirit. I know it isn’t always nice to hear so I appreciate very much your response and happy to hear your own thoughts.
Until the next time *ade*