today i felt myself slowly melt
as i drank a tea worth throwing
and not drinking then threw it
but poorly and nearly broke through
metal as my cake of horror shattered
in pieces and rained down on the
neighbors below red staining
oh and i worked myself into a hole
yesterday with eight solid hours of nothing
but clicking and copying and pasting
my life into an oblivion (aka 239 footnotes).
but then on inspiration from a book
the library definitely should have had
i sprinted home and mined google books
for sections to quote to fill in the void
and in a burst of brilliance completed
the journey my soul has singularly
(not so much)
pursued for the last six months.
tonight i shall sip wine (for scotch is
celebratory but I lack any in the house at
the moment) and dream grand dreams
of someday graduating from this misery
of a hole i’ve dug myself by enrolling in
higher education. again. and then a third
time. as though i like to poke myself in
the eye with needles.
all of it hoping. praying. someday people
will sit in rows and look to me as authoritative
not because they want to or actually believe it
but because they’re told to.