i don’t know if i mentioned about the time when in sixth grade i excused myself from mr. stage’s classroom and proceeded across the thinly carpeted windowless hallway to the mens toilet. where i peed. in the urinal. while staring off into something like space i managed to find in the divider between stalls.

then as if in slow motion my hand moved to towards the flusher and as i pulled, the ‘american standard’ pulled itself
away from the wall.

now i remember quite vividly the feeling of shock and horror i felt as i pulled my first urinal clear off its piping and watched as water gushed from the pipes behind it. i also remember the feeling of excitement i felt as i opened the door back into my classroom and returned to “social studies” which apparently is just a word for “history” and doesn’t address even basic sociology.

the next day when i returned to school i found the urinal safely fastened to wall as if it were all a dream.

then my shock and horror turned to pride. i pulled a urinal off the wall. i am awesome.