my nights were mostly sleepless
till hours after bedtime
where pictures of my third grade
baseball team slowly turned into
typewriters (something that at the time
terrified me) and fear was something
i grew used to. staying up nights
hoping tonight my door would be
left open to see down the brown
carpeted hallway to the light at the end
and hope to hear the voices of my parents
talking to soothe me to sleep
begging myself to pass out before
the voices stopped and i was left in silence

now i want you so badly not to fear
a thing at night or during the day i want
to protect you from anything you might
ever wonder is dangerous
to know your father is here and ready
to keep you safe. i want myself to feel safe
to call out to the One who really is in charge
and sing songs which bring comfort
in your ear as they remind me i’ve no reason
to be afraid even when your mother is
gone and we’re alone in a house much too
big for two people (really just one and a
munchkin). where the brown carpet is gone
but the lights stay on and i’ve no one to talk
with to soothe you to sleep so you scream
and you scream and i hold you and hold you
again knowing the longer i hold you the more
tired you become and the less likely to sleep
and you’ll have to scream yourself to sleep tonight
something i’m not wholly against as long
as your screaming from disobedience, or just
a lack of desire to sleep

but if you’re afraid i’m here for you
though you wont know these words till you’re
old enough to no longer fear the dark
and your sister will be there with you to hold
to hug and to read to.

and just so you know typewriters are really
wonderful things you should never fear
for anything which makes words is created
in the image of God. he used words after all
to make you and me and the sun above us we
never see.