(a new sieve norm – once it’s been done twice)
you spent at least two years
too many
in a former soviet republic
received at least two
too many
massages from strong muscular
bearded men in awkward
spa/tea houses because
that was just the custom
ate at least two
too many
parts of the cow which were
never intended by nature
or God
to ever be consumed
gave your wife at least two
too many
drinks on more than one occasion
just to watch her motor mouth
impress even you.
left at least one
too many
pairs of em… soiled(?)
boxers in my guest room during
a brief visit
where the child you’re about father
may well have been conceived
(probably not… i’m not soo good with
the numbers)
you waited at least one year
too many
to join the ranks of fatherhood.
welcome to the brotherhood.
“but i am confident you will
be brilliant” (and that boy will
love a pipe, beer, and literature
like a man should).
(p.s. i love that it’s a picture of you with someone other than your wife)
the sieve and the sand 
Hahahah! I’m crying right now. I’m entertaining the notion of fatherhood based soley on the prose produced by the fabulous bunch of ya’ll.
If we had conceived Owen while staying in your guest room, he would have been gestating for about 2 years! That would have been a crazy pregnancy.
And I also think it is funny/strange/odd/awkward that you included a picture of me and another girl here. I guess that the fat, naked rock star makes up for it though.
well done. makes me want to father, but then I remember that I’m not what you might call “ready”. Congrats Julio.
no one is ever ready lars… thats the beauty of kiddos.
scare the crap out of you coming out…. but then they make up for it.
pretty much the best thing ever.
yeah, i’m a little freaked out about the coming out part. i’m sure it will be over soon enough but the whole idea just sounds wrong and very messy.
all i know is i cried like a little girl
And that is probably the sanest response. Perhaps also throwing in a little fetal position rocking in the corner.