love shattered
(always hurts worse the first time)
followed by friendship
you pried from my fingers
and i’m thinking

this happens to chicks
but we’re dudes dude
and you pry and pry

“i don’t like you, nobody likes you”
chicks say that
but we’re dudes dude

but brilliance calls
(right on cue as murphy would have it)
i moved to the country side
of hongkong

saw slaves. met gangs
killers, dealers, and smugglers
the worst of the bad missing
limbs life and hips

achen
born into a family of millionaires
you squandered every penny
on heroin and more
losing family, heart, and then
your mind

akau
leaving wife you finally broke down
‘i’ll see you in four years when
if i’m healthy enough some day to
truly love you’
though we could not share words
we shared tears

i shook hands and shared bathrooms
with killer after killer
and silence endured
i could say hello.

till i broke
really simply wordlessly
tearfully broke
longing for a hug from anyone
from a murderer? not so lucky

that end of wits where there is only
*shudder* for strength alludes you

and

as if noticing for the first time
the fallibility of man
i cried out “he should have been
there for me” but he wasn’t

and that was my friend

since then i’ve never been attached
at the hip.

in teaching me what love is not
you taught me how to love