why do i write these things down?
they remain on a page
they do not grow to
godzilla like proportions
do i think that they will move?
you
or
the world?
much less even a leaf
much less even myself
often times
they lean
towards the garbage
my invisible pen pal
putting a weapon
in his mouth.

maybe i let the
grass grow around me
say i call the world
the moon
suppose i find nirvana
in the sky caught
by my unfocused eyes
and say i do it
soon

i am enamored by the beauty of
the birds singing through
the streets, my eyes glued,
sun whirling through the
windows growing trees
hidden beneath the carpet —
then i go back to my apartment,
after the world,
which is rotating and i
must jump in because
me and
you
we must have the world spinning
behind us
that is how we work
so our world is on a
spinning pedestal
and
i’m convinced
that
it’s all my fault
that i am dizzy.

things are working like machines
inside my head these days
they come and finish and go
money is made and money is spent
by whoever is running them
and yeah i feel well so what
and yeah the days pass so what
by standing i am running
away from the future

somewhere i am happy.

don’t you see that i got i
don’t you see that i rock it
for fuck sakes i can’t stop it
i’m riding the top of a rocket
i fit these things into sockets
should i drop it?
or put the world in my pocket
should i shut
the door should i
open the window
should i jump out?
should i go outside
in my mind
or in time
wake up the piggies
and shout?
remember that time you
yelled at me but
you didn’t know a damn
thing and remember that
time i wish i were
someone else?
remember when we thought
god was gonna save us?

who cares about the insanity that
why would you turn on your tv?
when i am alone
and sober
none of my books have last
chapters
none of my maps have destinations
so devoid of the human condition
there are billions of us
and i am a poet
but there are billions of us
so it makes it hard for me
to say anything
because there are billions of us
separate worlds on the same earth

my little friend and i
we don’t get along
these days
and if it doesn’t work
we’ll go back to our
throne
and i see the world
and it is shrinking
every day
but still too far
across for me to
roam

remember before
these cardboard houses
stood in the way?
you saw so much less
but had it all figured out
didn’t you?
please don’t break
all that i’ve made
please don’t give up
on all my ideas
for anything,
anything.

can’t get these things
to come out of my mouth
when my equations are solved
before i write them down
by the things they don’t
teach in school and you’ve
got to find them out yourself
and if you aren’t looking
hard enough, well
that’s deplorable.

these things sit very
firmly like the earth:
money
institutions
the thoughtless
american dream.
you cannot budge them
they do not need to be
emphasized
we’ve already bought in
we are no longer
on earth, we are
in a country. we are no
longer a human being,
we are a caucasian male
american. we are no longer
singular. you walk outside
and you’re not a human
standing on the earth
breathing in the air
your standing in the middle
of property, names, buildings,
commerce, shit.
but it’s fact
and
anything else
would
be
crazy.

my eyes alone
my eyes are alone
i see through them
as does no one
else
i see through them
and am solitary
yet a person
like everyone else
but i don’t know
what everyone else
sees because i
can only see through
my eyes alone
you know me?
how could you
know anyone else?
you didn’t exist
until i saw you
through my eyes
alone.

my pen can trace itself
these white lines symbolize
empty
what should you do with
your eyes?
who killed surprise?
this, our world, is like
a rock in itself
mid-flight
must you be taught
what’s a lie?
or sink till you
drown till you die.
(but, for a moment
i wish i could walk through
walls like a ghost
just to get what i’m
here for and leave.)

9:30
8:18
schoolcraft michigan
mount pleasant michigan
citgo parking lot,
my girlfriend’s apartment
the suns symphony
other people’s words
begins it’s finale
vibrate my bones
falling below the horizon
shaking my brittle
leaving traces of deep blue
spine
peppered behind dark clouds
remembering the time
once white
when i used to
billowy
talk loud
now ominous next to the moon,
and would kill
i save a fly
angels.

i should have known
that they run you through
a filter every goddamn
day until you taste
pleasant enough to sip
’til you live dead enough
sit.

put the towel on the rack
let the steam create him
as a mold
contemplate space and time
and how he can never get
it back
wishes he could go back
just to watch or give
advice
wishes he could sieze
the day and practice what
he preaches.

all of you can rot in hell
‘cuz i know i’m right
about how little potential
really matters in the end

yeah i’m on top of the fucking
world and i aint comin’ down
for shit

all of you can keep throwing
your bricks about the height
of grass, we don’t need
any more carbon dioxide

yeah i dropped the box
and can see circles and
triangles

lovebitch why don’t you come over here and set me free i don’t want your sister’s disease i just want to kill kill kill kill kill
i just want to kill kill kill

why would you kill yourself
over the same thing again?
those smiles look so good
from a distance, just like
everything else. there’s
nowhere you can get where
you wont be and there’s
nothing you can see that
you can’t see and there’s
no one you’ve met that
you haven’t torn to pieces.
and if you take the pill
it will just dissolve
in your stomach like
all the rest. just
like
all
the
rest. and you know how
much you hate all the rest.