i am god and god is a wolf
birthing everything to have
it eaten
and in my hands is destruction
and in my head is the destroyer
of what is good
or what i love, at least
the hunger pains they
ebb and flow
and i doubt its worth
as there is no finality
to be found
forever hunting
gaudy curves that seemed filled
with sugar
perfect like the rolling hills
of tennessee, only pleasantly
excessive
lawless dark brown hair
matching her face
with metal pertruding
through her lower-left lip
she was lost, her figure
filling out a mold made
from fantasties grown stale
and muddied by years
of dissilusionment
and cold
and in the middle of
directing her to muskegon,
after my eyes had travelled the
breadth of her voluptious
body, i told her about it
i told her about her beauty,
i said “you’re gorgeous…
by the way”
and she paused
smiling
with one foot out the door
and didn’t say thanks
she left me for muskegon
with something hidden
inside of a smile and
a pause
perfect like a picture
the autmn decent
chills my chemical roots
and i’m
falling through the smoke
shedding weight to
diminish the rate
this is it
it reminds me of you
take another drag
close eyes
hide
the king of stuff is high on
a mountain-top
city-smoke billowing out of his mouth
his heart pumps ice-water
his feet keep the time
his apathy is magnetic
and the sky will fall while
the king of stuff is still standing
of that you can be sure.
i had a dream
your skin was ten times silk
and grabbing you was
like grabbing heaven’s clouds
but it wasn’t true
and you like it that way,
anyway
on my ride home from work
i watched a jogger’s ass as i
passed
by
and thought all these sweet things
that grew stale in the air
and then there was all that decay
around me and
then
i knew its rate
away
away the incessant
away the incessant echoes
the little living lightning
letters looping and lapping
relentlessly
off the petroleum walls
off the left ear
off the right
away from the fake planets
and suns
away and floating high
taking deep breaths
of the thin air
love up here
love in the vacuum
away
girl you’re like a solid jam
i mean,
damn
and you know
i know
all the parts
the bass, drum
and the guitar
eat it up and go home
pretend you did it right
let the sun come up behind you
smash it all inside your head
make it sound good when you say it
laugh and throw it away
smash it all inside your head
oh you want it you want it bad
you get the shakes and you don’t think
but you think about it all the time
oh you want it you want it bad
but you smash it all up in your head
alone is different than lonely
but god I tell you I am both
and am walking ’round in circles, here
trying to find the center
and this is a true account of my days
written here for you to see
as usual, and of course
I can’t let go of the words, oh
what’s more is you can have all my stuff
i don’t care about much anymore
but i miss your dog, i miss your dog
yeah yeah, yeah yeah, etc
but if you wanted me (and you don’t)
I would’ve saved you yes I would
but your love is such a weighty lie
your love is just a sucker game.
on the ride looking for my home
there were so many things i didn’t say
the sun dipped low, our shadows grew
you dropped me off but i was lost
losing light behind the crooked horizon
after you left, i took a walk
and got back to the city by sunrise
through the lonely woods and dusk
and dawn and sterile landscape
where i waited in a parking lot
i stole food from the ants
i pretended to be superman
my soul flying through the clouds
i pretended in all honesty
the less i care
the higher i get–
but i think of the ground
all the time.
life is better with friends
don’t you think?
no matter the type, or kind
the ones that live in the flesh
or the ones that go
down your throat
any friends are better than
none.
admittedly, i found your body
in a shallow grave in my backyard
i was shaking like a lost child
your body smoking like a fallen star
the elephant in the room
is that your mother is dying
from a cancer
and your heart follows the
rain,
down through the gutters
apathy is a warm blanket,
your body is a cold machine,
all around you a million shades
of grey paint pop-culture
pictures that disappear when
you look at them like
all of the fake-stars in the sky
there are few words left for what you see
you put your art in a grey can
and give it a stupid name;
this survival is an encouraged
and repugnant greed
and is the cancer itself
beauty is right behind that elephant.
i thought you were here but you were not
but i can feel you pulling me down
down into your sweet comfort
down into sugar soaked dreams
my eyes, heavy, catch shadows on the floor
thought i felt you pulling me down
down into would-be memories
down to where we sleep life away
my mind is tired, it needs a rest
i come to look for you again
you are not here, and never were
i made you up just for me.
i’m an inflatable man
waving at the heavens
and yearning ever outwards
and futher
but the wind is high
and the gravity is heavy
and reality is lame.
inside you is a tension
from the building up of steam
and you won’t just let go of it
for that would be obscene
you pretend that you are limber
so to all it can be seen
yet you are just a child, dear
just-a waiting to be free’d
so come and take a ride with me
away from your sick dream
i’ll teach you how to lift the world
and put it down, where you please
see the colors of the void
and then, too, of the leaves
think about the higher things
and sit up in the trees
let all of our love out
and let it flow
in-between.
i am a moment
abandoned
for fantasy
you sneak passed
my gravity and if i
stay i’d give credance to
fate
if i did that i’d be lying
and moments they don’t
lie.
i want to find all the beauty
i want to take it home
i want to spread it on my sheets
i want to wear it out
and i will do my laundry
the detergent will break it down
and i will search again
the light switch is on
we shall sieze the day
bending perception with our minds
for profit
the flags of our country wave
in the wind outside
soaking the sun up
like leaves
a frown but a smile all the same.
the sieve and the sand 
You must be logged in to post a comment.