to keep from falling off a cliff

you could grab on to some shrubbery
during your fall and attempt
to brace yourself from something
terrible.

alternatively you could turn around
before you reach the edge of the cliff
and avoid the fall altogether and thus
the need to brace yourself.

but lets be honest that you’re not
reading this while still running towards
the cliff, you’re on your way down and
want a way out.

so grab some shrubbery. hope for a trampoline
at the bottom of the valley. or just simply
brace for impact. for sometimes the inevitable
is just that, and acting like it isn’t coming
isn’t going to make the splat any less painful.

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Sometimes someone comes and knocks, something like two or some three times.
And then sometimes you have you kick out that someone, or do something like punch that someone once or sometimes twice, somewhere like in the face.
But usually it’s not a problem and you can just sit on your couch and continue eating your onion rings without worrying about it.

hopper, jumper, thumper. whatever, we just called him hal.

i string your toes together on elastic
like penne on a string brought
home by a child.

but these have been severed post-mortem
due to the crudeness of my new
moral values eroded by a slow
loss of respect for anything
of value.

your finger’s i’ll leave in the bowl
on the counter and wish i wasn’t so
disgusted by the cruelty (although
it’s not like you felt it).

and your feet i’ll make in to keychains
and sell them in a market. i’ll call
them good luck charms. and we’ll
miss, or so we’ll say. but we might
actually find we rather enjoy the excess
of carrots and lettuce all of a sudden
available to us for meals and juicing
since you’ve been gone.

emotional capacity of a potato

there are times and places
and people and things,
but this is none of those
and i find it highly suspect
that you’re still trying
to stuff it in your pocket
when the jar, the bag, and
your heart, failed to hold
it. but the misunderstandings
you’re perpetuating make
me believe there is also
little reason in attempting
to explaining it to you.

yup, much more awesome though different than we’re taught.

and one day while lying in bed
and reading a clive staples commentary
on third or fifth-rate poetry,
it occurs to me that i’ve never written
a love poem. as in a poem about genuine
love and not the mushy gushy feeling
of pursuit and excitement. of the chase
so fleeting, wonderful yes, but no more love than avacado is ice cream though it shares a consistency.

and now married 8 years to the horribly imperfect, i think myself prepared
for a love poem. about dishes, fights, diapers, and choices again and again to be better than i think she deserves because i know undoubtably she’s being better than she thinks i deserve.
for though she sometimes thinks knows me to be an ass
she delights in my imperfection and offers patience with my foolishness.
finding that, in a way, we live thrive together somehow stronger with the constant struggle of maintaining one another;
stronger than we would be void of one another.
the choice so easy when weighed with the alternative.
so often left unweighed.
because to love is the choice.
the choice is to love.

whumph

for these times we
need to argue
the facts when the
truth is blurred
with rhetoric
like blue mixes
with green to make
a blue-ish green.
you know, it doesn’t
really mix. the two
colors seem always
altogether distinct
but indistinguishable
in a strange it’s
obvious but not
entirely kind of
way which apparently
poetry is unable
to express.

at least mine.

life lessons by spuds

there are potatoes in a sack in the back of your dust-infested room growing mold next to your bong which has lately only been used to smoke legal substances which due to law changes really isn’t a change at all, but the more potent blends have done nothing to sharpen your mind to the dangers of crystallized fungus or whatever happens when things mold (i never took even basic chemistry after all).

and i just can’t help but continue to wonder at the state of disarray that is your outward appearance and the calm which defines your inner being, and the way it contrasts with my own life.

woot?

a twinge of relief
followed by a sudden
sense that this win
will be long lived
but only enjoyed
shortly as the sore
ness in back and neck
give way to fever and
then throat pain
in a way Tylenol just
cant relieve

but a win is still a
win in casablanca

I wrote out a big long sappy thing and then cut it out and put this down instead. My heart is suddenly open to more feeling. And it’s been hurting for so long it is unsure of how to respond. Hope, there is room for hope again. Expectation, how I’ve missed you. Longing, I hope we part ways for some time. Shit, we’ve become far too well acquainted.

holy ethiopian palm sunday.
it’s…. finally…. over.

praise the Lord.

Blessed be the LORD,
for he has wondrously shown his
steadfast love to me

“i will not leave you as orphans, i will come to you”

and now one brother
has been released and
the other remains under
devils thumb. and we wait
some more for an endless
coming, for our God who
doesn’t experience time
in the same way we do
(or so we’re told), for our
God who experiences agony
in much the same way we do
and we beat against the air
in a (hopefully) winning-but-
not-even-one-satisfying-blow
battle.

as i wait helplessly by for my
sons. to embrace and finally
not have to let go.