viscosity

my life would read like a red cross
volunteer straight out of a brief
bio in readers digest or a lifetime
original movie. everything played just
right and everyone cared for in
just the right way. but really while
i’m tying the bandages around this guys
leg, or helping this old lady across
the street . . . while i’m scooping
poop out of the clogged septic tanks
or de-toilet-papering a house for a
neighbor, the whole time my head is
in town. at a pub where i plan to go
the moment the sun hides behind the
mountains. a place i know where i can
climb inside a bottle, hole up, and soak
into every pore, the brewed nectar of
the fruit of the earth. enjoying life and
joy in a bottle so many others are there
abusing. just waiting for the day to break
so i can hop back in my thirty-year-old
chevy truck and head back to do
it all again.

there is a certain amount of death involved when you purchase a heavy duty battery but what you really wanted was an alkaline and you get home and plug the crap into your electronic device and find the power is gone within just a few minutes.

you mourn

through things like overeating or returning to the store to purchase new batteries, but you know that something significant has taken place in your failure to purchase the right thing the first time.

because it’s relegated to the dump

and this saddens you as you are well aware of the environmental damage your two little wimpy batteries will cause to the landscape around the area far from your home but near to that trailer park where you know that guy who you bought a beer for once at that pub downtown

and this has brought you back to beer

which you must admit has made this full circle, even this brief bout with death, something less than as bad as you thought it would be because nothing calms your nerves or settles your stomach like bubbles slowly rising on the inside of a green or clear bottle and the flavor of a slightly too strong

ale.

in love
imperfections
fade

like a child just learning to walk
i’ve wandered these halls in the dark
stumbling into walls
tripping over myself
and all the others here with me
wandering
believing we all have some idea
of the way out.

like a child just learning to eat
i pick up a piece and try to fit it
perfectly in the mouth hole
but find myself hitting nose
cheeks and occasionally shoving
a cheerio at great velocity into
my open eye.

i see you there offering me help
but

like a child just learning free will
i figure i’ll do it better myself thank you.

tan, beach, pool, sun, sand,
running barefoot beside waves
back to the *fine* grind

and heading for conference
then beach
but more importantly people
and downtime
where i plan to regenerate
myself with books.

yes. i’ll bring them on my phone
a computer in itself
and i’ll lay in bed and read
and sink my feet in to sand
and run.

somehow this will bring me back
to the job i love
ready to do it even better.

or so me hopes.

many more
(as a percentage)
of people
will ignore
dissimilar principles
(concerning longevity)
giving in to
the short term.
choosing one donut
now over two donuts later

there’s a place where folk go
pre-death but post-life.
where they’ve ceased any hope
of home brewing their beer
and they sit around staring
instead of laughing with cheer.

this place ain’t called limbo
or purga-tor-amy or anything
special, like southern miami.

they just give up on life but
from fear keep moving through it.
hoping someday more money
or a bigger car will better fit.

but the truth is
what they’er seeking
is long gone by now.

they gave it up.
turned their back.
forgot to ‘wow’.

cosmetically he cant stack up.
but where the man lacks visually
he more than makes up for
olifactarily

these days i wake up early and spend
all day in class learning things about
philosophy and sitting square on my
ass as i try and comprehend

the words out of this mans mouth i process
thoughts and key them into my phone while
sipping myself full of tea trying not
to pee myself or flee out of fear
i wont make it through the next break or two
reminding me (yeah myself) three
credits more and we’ll see if i can
finish this crapping degree.

beer made it a party
where pizza would not suffice.
and we thanked our creator
for friendship, hope, vision,
dreams, fun, and one another.
because if there is any sign
in the world of the absurd blessing
of the Lord it would be the
12 children screaming bloody
murder while we try and get something
focused done.

i agree
“shattered safety glass”
is a perfect description of
your recent relationships.

a hole is dug and with your jacket
(made of down)
you take a dive
i’d call it a swim but treading
attempting to stay alive
as you look on in longing
and me laughing.

yea “swim”
is probably not the best word.

bursting into song
knowing that i would feel good
gave a morale boost at mile 4
but lacking money when passing
mcdonald’s breakfast dampened
the mood.

tomorrow?

and thats how you found yourself
awake at 5:30 in the morning
freezing to a shake in your shoes
wondering if you have what it takes
to find joy in the sleep deprivation
and the strenuous endlessness of the
road ahead as you ignore red lights
and head for the hills hoping to
return before the sunrise.

I long in private
to know humility.
Something you suffered in full
at the moment of your birth.

Choosing us at the cost of
stepping from paradise to our
filthy rags. Our filthy skin.
Our filthy thoughts, ways, and
friends. Settling for deny-ers,
liars, and betrayers

he’s clothed in grey and hangs
with death until death waves his
scythe in disgust trying to wave
away the scent he carries.

like a Pig-Pen floating in the sky
the dirt moves around with him
carrying a scent he loves to
bring to children and men of all ages.

he had a brief visit with my mother
who claimed he smelled of perfume
when with her. a lie i believed until
i was much too old.

on dates in high school he’d visit and
torment me to hassle me through the
evening laughing in mockery as i consumed
linguine with my date. till the moment
i dropped her off at night, loosened my pants
and sighed a sigh of relief as he
finally
slowly
left me
sputtering
out
screaming. “see you tomorrow!”