Author: Roger Mugs

scooter

poetry

i wrote me a headline
(something to flatter you in a “i bet you think this poem is about you” kind of way)
and found it constricting
(in a “this underwear is a little much for my ‘wee ones'” kind of way)
to the point of destroying
my creativity
(in a “i should use the word ‘like’ a little more” kind of way)
and so i dropped it
wrote this for you instead
and then gave it the same title anyhow.
sorry.

stoked?

poetry

any given flight around the world
begins and ends with misery/anticipation
as you say goodbyes (even if temporarily)
and uproot yourself 13 time zones.

the food/comfort gets you there
the friends/work gets you back
diarrhea is my only loyal companion

all bark and no bite

poetry

alas, i talk big but know when the time comes
i’ll be incapable of putting that foot confidently
forward into His presence because i know where
that foot has been.
what these eyes have seen.
what these hands have done.
the wrath due is deserved.
and when gone paid by another,
what claim have i to stand?

another ode a la sieve

poetry

when will the world awake from its slumber
and find these cannonball-butts are writing
the most amazing combination of words and
fecal-expressions they’ve ever seen?

it most certainly will be recognized by the
world before the “publishers” catch on.

but since it is still “pre- noticed-by-publishers”
i must assume the time is at hand.
at crusty clasped hand.
(soon to arrive).

we are (after all) brillianceINCARNATE

friggin hate taking tests

poetry

nail biting
cheaterscheaterseverywhere
and it’s obvious the proctors don’t care
the room heats up till
sweatbreaksoutonmyforeheaddrippingdownmypencil
on to my perfectly formed answer circles
(squares)
they call the test
books close. pencils down.
at least they’re supposed to.
cheaterscheaterseverywhere

rewrites the well known

poetry

we feign self sacrifice
laying down our humility
in pursuit of pride,
a great name,
power.

the fire comes and burns away the chaff revealing our work, our building materials, our poor skills at plumbing.
judgment comes.

and you used PVC where you should have used metal piping. and there’s crap everywhere.

power, pride, wisdom, when and where i say.
and bad plumbing

not titled

poetry

i overheard and turned to see thankfully a moment too late but the sound will stay with me forever
as the bone broke under the weight
of the bus
the roll of head under body
and what was left of the muffled scream

invinciprobability

poetry

i aways knew i’d grow old and find
this food i was not so secretly ingesting
was the key to superhuman strength

alas human-made green goo emboldens not,
strengthens not, and just generally does’nt do much
for me besides aid me in attention grabbing.

yea, im the guy who holds my finger away from
my face between picking and consuming to first
judge the succulence and then later partake

careful what you undertake, lest you learn things about yourself you wish you didn’t know. like in 10th grade when in the shower i finally discovered my taint and in the process discovered that it had never been washed. therefore what was a new part of my body was also a very dirty part of my body. crust. wrinkly. gross. so don’t inspect too closely if you don’t want to find poo-encrusted taint.

poetry

i place my words carefully
each in order
so as to construct
my mind.
and i’m finding
she ain’t purdy.