when i was a kid my dad used to try to gross people out by saying bread was really just yeast fart. cheese was something similar. just farts. thats what those holes are in swiss. believe it or not thats what it basically boils down to. unless my mother was right about fart being a medical term standing for flatal anal rectal transmission in which case it would be a lie. after all how can yeast rectally transmit if it lacks both anus and rectum? how? this is the thought i leave you with before i drop some rhymes up in her.

poetry

i’ll serve you on bread
or better yet a cracker
insufficient you be
all alone
in want of a snacker
but with my love for you
comes love for yeast farts too
i’ll cut you up in pieces
my illustrious cheeses

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