You are my sunshine

when skies are grey

but sometimes I just

need a break

from all those harmful

UV rays

you bleach my hair

you tan my face

you dress me down

you keep me baked

and then when all

is said and done

the moon’s as pretty

as the sun

before we fall asleep
you look out the window and notice
the first snow of winter
finally falling
it thinly coats cars trees streets

and before we fall asleep
i pray it will stick till morning
so i can see the paw prints
of the black cat i just saw
running along the fence.

I wore slacks for 12 hours today and
costume changed my tie once for
a nicer occasion that required a thicker knot

I sat with my back more rigid than it knows how
And did not cross my legs or
put my elbows on any tables and
I refrained from using the word “bitch”
Even when the lady was being one

I was napkin lap charming
Speaking only softly and
Always peppered with compliments

All the while

I was quietly counting
The oddly growing number of
small rough blisters
On my fingertips and hands

These muscles ache and stretch
they are the Devil’s Sinews,
the machines of a vengeful spirit.

My heart, clutched by blackened bones
is pounding and burning,
my stomach spraying acids from it’s
pores

I would scream if my lungs would not
brim with pesticides.

I would kill if my hands would
stop ripping my skin from me.

I would eat and tear and scream would
my body permit me.

Instead I smash my hands on concrete
until they are but
pulpy stumps.

Instead I break myself apart.