the sieve and the sand » hope

reasons to believe

Roger Mugs — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:16:01 +0000

you can fight against the urge to die but
you’ll only ever find that 100% eventually give in
to scratch said itch and

if this is all there is to life the
hope you have will fail you soon as you realize
these are bad betting odds

and then you re-evaluate your hope

because life really ends up being just about one thing – its just a question of how long until you finally own up to what you already know

Roger Mugs — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 11:01:06 +0000

giving up i
purchase a new gaming system on the way home
stop by the liquor store and pick up a bottle (or eleven)
order pizza and return home to rip my clothes from my body
stripped to my boxers i stand before
the monster screen i’ve earned through years of
something like hard labor
and burn new callouses in my thumbs
and cataracts in my eyes
passing two hours four hours ten hours – more
i drink and i drink
i play and i play
i order food and order more food
i indulge in any and everything i can possibly
afford in an effort to squander my savings
before my eyes close for rest
seeking comfort and hope and joy in a hopeless world
red eyed and naked
i forsake the cleanliness of my couch for the convenience
of not visiting the bathroom
and press on and press on and press on

lying sick and pre-hung over (quite drunk still
if you will)
i open my eyes and cry myself back to sleep
knowing i must return to the thing
the only thing
which brings meaning to my life
wishing i could abandon it and hope for something
new
perhaps different

suit and tie
replace fecal matter and i
showered climb
into my honda civic
and return to my hopeless world

hope springs…er, something rather

rcribay — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:40:54 +0000

hope sometimes
pokes it head out
slow like a turtle you
knew it was there
all along it was just
a matter of time but
every now and then
hope catches you by surprise
like a kiss in the dark.

Why wave the white flag now ?

freakynewchild — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 00:36:20 +0000

You have pined up all your hopes on me

you have nailed me to the cross

Do you actually think that I will resurrect for you?

On my way out, you cheerfully threw at me your

“Work Hard” pet phrase.

Hell, I have aged at the touch of you

my joints hurts in the open air

my back responds to well to the gravity’s pull

only this snow so white on the ground

keeps me from hurrying to the devil’s mouth

1 Peter 3:15

Roger Mugs — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:22:42 +0000

tally up your sins
just press them against your hand and look
the places you’ve shot and killed
poured over in blood
washed them “clean” with words of
valor?

short by ten thousand, a million, more
thick snow could not cover the black
you’ve made
press them against your hand and feel
madness at your things gone right
and accident – nay

i knew exactly what it was i done

and exactly where i find my hope

point and shoot

Roger Mugs — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:05:14 +0000

catch memories on film
or
paint outlines on asphalt