others who have gone before and found they stumbled in expression, and gave up and were alright with that.

February 16, 2012

And He is jealous from me, loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

why He wants anything at all to do with me is rather a mystery.
but i am a tree being battered by the rain drops i know
were carried inland from the ocean, and the salt stings
and beats against my face (leaves right?) and what can
i do but fold? that’s what they did on seeing glory
(2 Chron 7:1-3), why should i stand.

When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions
Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

if for some reason i was ever to expect eventually
understanding it would have been foolish of me. instead
i’m overwhelmed and become comfortable in the feeling
of the loss of control, my lack of control. like you’re
a stalker and i give up ever shaking you, except a stalker
must be the wrong picture for we seem to not like those
whereas none who’ve seen you could possibly not like you.

And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all

i cannot claim to understand
i cannot claim to understand

And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking

running like lemmings into the ocean except
we didn’t just begin to sink, we’ve been drowning
and people watch from the outside and think it must
hurt, yet this choking, this lack of oxygen, is not
fear inducing. the water surrounding is of another
substance of some sort and we’re hundreds of feet down
to where the light has begun to fade and everything
is blue. the reds long gone, the greens fading fast
and we’re all sinking.

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way…

an unforeseen kiss, how it causes you to startle,
but yet is something delightful. something like
a donut you figured was just a donut because you didn’t
realize it was filled with boston cream, and when
your tongue and teeth make contact you’re startled
but delighted.
frustrated suddenly you ever ate anything else
you ever settled for something else. but without
time to feel frustration you turn instead to continuing
forward, swimming in your delight because…

He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves all

How He loves
Yeah, He loves us, oh, how He loves us

Oh, how He loves us, oh how He loves
Oh, I love
Yeah, He loves us, yeah, He loves us
How He loves us, oh, how He loves us all

this feeling brings overwhelming clarity that
the words i have to express myself are frail compared
to what i’m feeling. others watch me compose poetry
to my true love and laugh at the seeming worthlessness of
what i feel. but how do you express something that makes
you feel like a child? free? you don’t. you dance and look
like a fool and then give up and decide repetition will have
to serve it’s purpose — truth — again and again in place
of a better expressed thought. because He loves us.

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