the sieve and the sand

He really knows how to bring a room
down
and he really knows how to keep things form
swinging
And every damn time someone turns on the
lights
there’s a shot from the basement saying (somebody’s)
“sleeping”

But be that
as it
may,
one’s usually not in
the business of keeping
a good thing
quiet.

So
Shut the fuck up
already.

oh marilyn,
i have returned a
man from the woods
and am arranged to
marry you,
you,
you,
and
you
but these hormones
go to waste,
this indifference
is killing me
oh marilyn,
you look so good on
screen.

The Imperative part
despite all claims against
is certainly the
brake lights
(on the dash, not
on the tail-end)

Perhaps not a warning
so much as a reminder:
sometimes it’s
impossible to stop without
Crashing.

Seventy times seven
Equals four-hundred and ninety.
The worries me.
I’m quite convinced I’ll screw up
More than (if I haven’t already)
The square root of
22.13594362117865
And when I do,
Then what happens?
If I did wrong every day
For one year,
Four months and three days
Would I no longer be forgiven?
If 240,100 divided by 490
Is still four-hundred and ninety,
I’d only have one last chance
To never mess up again.
But fortunately,
Forgiveness is beyond numbers.
And so are you.
It’s times like these
I realize how lucky I am
To have a savior.

i didn’t crash the car
last night with the 3 dollar
bottle of wine
and the worst part about that
is that i don’t want to
anymore
i didn’t walk past the
line we drew in the sand
last night
and the worst part about that
is just how bad i
wanted to
i didn’t kill anything
ever, not even a cloud
last night
and the worst part about
that is that i don’t
want to anymore
i said the worst part
about that is just how
bad i wanted to.

There are times when you
feel like you need fluids
and you know you’re due for
new tread, and it wouldn’t
really hurt to maybe
flush the systems, when you
can sit back and think:
“this must be what my car feels like’

i move mountains in my head
with giant engines running lean
when i am on bottom i am surely
truly on top,
and that stands backwards, too.
i see the white brick walls
growing around this apartment
complex as we speak,
and when it comes to take you
if you let it,
it will,
and there you will be.

there are men waiting just outside
of this door who want me to
slave under them,
put myself in front of bullets,
why i might do it to stave the
advancement of these white brick
walls still growing around
this apartment complex as i
write this.
it is proven that i am to plug in
sign up
log on
and put these engines towards
social and human progress,
nevermind the definition of progress.

phd,
ba,
manager,
associate,
how high can you jump?
how quickly can you do it
when commanded?
when i am on bottom, i am surely
on top,
and that works backwards too,
i think.

You’re so much different
Than the others
She said.
I kept my face expressionless
But inside I was cackling.
Different?
I’m no different.
I came out of the same
Mold as the rest of ‘em.
Different.
Ha!
Let her think was she wants.
I put on a good show.

SIT AND SIT
UNTIL YOUR NERVES
FREEZE OFF
COLD?
NOT ANYMORE
HOT?
NOT ANYMORE
PULL THE CEDAR CHIPS
AROUND YOUR PROSTRATE
BODY,
HAMSTER.

A long shot with an
interesting pair.

I’ve no idea what I
just finished, though I
was certain when I signed up,
what I signed up for.

But, when all things are
considered,
one thing is unswervingly
certain:

The deal was clinched
when the nacho cheese was
purchased

the highways are empty
tonight
there is a blanket
of apathy over the
clouds
did someone soundproof
this room?
no,
did,
someone mute this room?
why,
i can hear the
bells in the distance.

shut down on me
and slow is all i can go
i long for my words to hit
the page

for in the same way
i cannot think without
moving my mouth

i cannot poetrize
without moving my
fingers

and lack of the interwebs
has me down.

i sit at a luncheon with mr. pig,
there are mannequins across the street
whose silence is very, very loud
they all ask me:
“what are you doing for employment”
“no no, i am dreaming”
“what do you do for fun?”
“well it comes at forty bucks,
and then it’s gone”
just at this very moment
at that very second
a shot of red danced around
from the left of my left eye
to the right of my right eye
and i said “who was that?”
and they said
“why do you ask so many questions?”

Monumental
though no one else can
see it.

Drink deep,
Lay back,
Smile.

It’s simply, simply,
wonderful.

The doorbell’s broken
Your screen door is locked
So I can’t exactly knock
There’s no way I’m throwing
A pebble at your window
And besides, it’s not like
You’ll answer anyway

You can sift your sand
through the finest sieve
and not find a single thing
of interest

Or, every speck and
specimen is interesting
beneath the lens of the
seasoned inspector’s
microsope

Take interest in each
grain, or
cast it all away.

You’ll either
learn something about yourself,
or save yourself a
DAMN lot of
Trouble.

how i see the world as a playground
when i challenge to jump the highest
from the swing sets,
big kids size
and, though i never land it
my grace and style gives me 10′s
all around the sandbox
children holding up
their scorecards and oh
if i could change my middle name to
danger
without relying on the mystical
friends that live in my mind when
i can find or afford them.
this,
see,
this is what i’m always working on.

It’s life that’s bleeding,
bleeding from our being
while we spend 4 hours
together, wasting time. But we’re
together, wasting time.

There wasn’t any money made
but money spent regardless.
Though we’re trying not to spend,
so much,
we’ll spend it anyway because,
God Damn it,
It’s a special occasion.

And she always said “I’ll See you”,
and I always said “You Won’t”.
But I might not just be
fucking around this time.

But all, in all, absolutes
are rarely a reality.
So,
Keeping that in mind,
I can ask one,
very,
important,
question:

Am I just faking music?
or am I playing Air Guitar?

And up.
And up.
And up.
And up.
Up.
Until at last I was nothing left
Ascending higher than the heavens
Against the marshmallow clouds
Only colored pricks of contrast
And up.
And up.
And up.
Up.
Elevating effortlessly into the cyan sky
And they watched me unconstrained
But gravity still had its grasp on them.
They leapt up to recapture me.
And up.
And up.
Up.
Long awaited freedom finally came.
Bobbing patiently in the breeze.
I untwirled from around an idle wrist
After the lacey fetters came undone
And up.
Up.
They’ll swear
I was there before I disappeared.

first i must brave the electric
field filling the space between
us in your living room,
then i must make very sure i am
absolutely correct
when i stare at your thighs and
envision how the rest of the night
should go
then i must speak,
and my words must tip-toe around your face,
tickle,
…convince…
am i ugly?
am i a casanova?
if i
if i moved myself
closer to you
would the buildings fall down in
just
the
right
order?
but we must always know
we must surely know
i will go home
because chances are for the living.

Rarely have I
met someone
so lonely.

It’s the look in the
eyes, and the
disparaged, heavy
sighing that accomp’nys

Every

Mention

of a former life.

Perhaps it’s time
to start anew.

I’ll help by
saying
‘Hi!’

since we last talked
(if yelling is talking),
and i got mad,
and you got mad;
we all got mad,
and in the end
i gave you up
and the ensuing silence said
“you aren’t my father,
and you never were,
and you never will be,
and i never want to see you again.”

and there’s nothing like death
to draw me back,
to bring me back to say
“you gave me some of the best times
of my life, and I don’t know
who I would be without you,
and i love you, despite your fuck-ups;”
the very things that i can’t say,
that i never will say,
as you lie dead
in a morgue
in pueblo,
colorado.

I’ve stepped in to a strange
contorted world of your own
machinations
(unless it’s just the glass(es)
that I’m looking through
changing the view)

and all the while we dream
of doing something with our
own creations
(but we both know the lies
we tell our selves won’t
turn out true)

should we step outside?
breathe deep the fresh air?
consider possibilities
that all the things we’re aiming for
are not what we’ll turn out to be?

or do we SHUT THE FUCK UP
like we said we would before?
let’s just do the thing already
let’s not dwaddle anymore

let’s turn off your machinations
and pick up our old creations
let’s, in other words,
take our stethoscopes and
walk

Honey, give me just a piece
to write
tonight.

Honey, it doesn’t have to
rhyme,
(but if it does,
that’s fine).

and oh! Honey,
define for me
the term
‘petulance’ using
nothing but a sweet,
loving smile

I’m certain that
the irony,
subliminal though
it may be,
would kill me.

Under microscopes
Cells splitting / multiplying
I know God is real